With Pops' birthday party on Sunday, it got sprung on us last Sunday that we would be having a major event here in... well, now, about two days. I'm struggling with the frustration that with a little more notice, we would have prioritized things like carpet shampooing to be this week instead of the week before Thanksgiving when we will, now ironically, have fewer people here. (Let's just say, clumsy adults + clumsy cat + WHITE carpets + said carpets are past double their life expectancy = Needs regular shampooing.)
We have been here officially for 8 and a half months now, and the garage has not yet been set up into the lounge sanctuary that was intended to be our stress-relief area. Everything Else keeps getting prioritized ahead of the garage, and now it is in a stage that Pops' participation is required to continue at all, which means we are at the whim of his condition. It just so happens that if we can get the current stage of sorting done before Sunday, then some of the stuff out there will be Going Away at that time.
And so you may imagine my frustration when somehow, with me curled up in bed with a cold and not involved in house cleaning for the party, the mess that is dining room bookshelves got prioritized above the garage again today. Knowing that they couldn't possibly be finished before this weekend, it seems silly to do something that will actually just make the unfinished job look worse than simply leaving it for the time being--it's like the empty space and lack of dust just highlights the dust and clutter in the rest of the room. Something that could have been avoided by sticking to the plan of using Pops' limited energy for sorting the tools in the garage so that his children can remove some of the excess over the weekend.
If the usual chores are still getting done, does it really matter where else progress is getting made? I'm trying to convince myself to be grateful for any decluttering that's happening at all, regardless of the outcome. I'm trying to find the peace to be gentle on myself and the people in my home when we don't accomplish everything we'd like to as fast as we'd desire. I feel guilty for not celebrating more the progress that was made. Shouldn't I be rejoicing in even partial projects? Is the logic about it looking "worse" now just my guilt at my slob brain being able to see the rest for what it is, and knowing others will too?
My moment of grace today: Mr. Moon managed to get all the food prep done on our list while I took a nap this evening. That simple fact, showing that the communication and organization is working even when I'm not there to micromanage it, makes up for any frustration about the rest of the day.